Episode 842: Come Back Be Here

“Right, yes,” she nodded, burrowing her hands deep in her coat pockets. “I should have called first. It’s just been several days since we talked.”

“I, um,” he scrubbed a hand over his hair. “I figured you might want some space.”

“Actually, it’s probably better if I don’t have space, and since I was in the neighborhood...” purposely in the neighborhood, “I thought maybe I’d stop by and thank you for encouraging me to say a proper goodbye to my grandmother.”

“It went well then? Good, I’m glad.” He offered her a smile, though it went away as quickly as it had come and his eyes wandered as if he had somewhere else to be, which he did, he had dinner plans, with someone?

It was the most dismissive or as standoffish as he’d been since they’d first met. She thought maybe she should accept that he wasn’t in the mood for their friendship, he had more pressing places to be, but she needed to talk, this awfulness had been floating around in her head, infecting her heart for too many days now and she blurted, “it didn’t go entirely well at the funeral.”

He looked at her then, the old interest and concern back in his eyes.

“I did get my goodbye,” she said, “but right after, the moment I started to step away from the casket, my mom… right in my ear… she said… she said my grandma’s life was cut short because of me, she would have lived longer if I hadn’t stressed her out and shamed her with my pregnancy, she lost years because of me.”

“But Paul was there with you, he told your how wrong that is, didn’t he?”

“He, no, I, wait, how did you know he was there?”

“I was there, outside, I thought you might need some support, then I saw you already had support.”

“Not exactly.” Lucy explained how she’d ended up accompanied by Paul, how having him by her side hadn’t been much comfort because she couldn’t trust his motivation, was he actually there for her to recruit her for his custody case? “It’s the same reason I didn’t tell him the awful things my mom said to me, so I’ve been alone with her words for a few days now, with no one to talk to, then finally I had this thought of, oh, right, I could probably talk to you, it usually helps to talk to you, but I can wait, I shouldn’t have just barged in on your evening, this is not the time, you have dinner-”

“I was going to dinner alone, I thought you were back with your ex and I didn’t know if maybe it was a little early for him to be cool with you having a guy friend hanging around, that’s why I’ve been keeping my distance, waiting for you to come to me. Now you’re here, so let’s go grab dinner, come back here, and have that talk about how your mother couldn’t be more wrong.”

Episode 843: Where You Belong