Episode 800: Love Thy Will Be DoneJesse sat there, in the backseat of someone else's car, with someone else's girlfriend, on New Year's Eve. It was far from ideal since he was still in love with her, and he didn't have the stamina to just get up and leave.
“You don't have to stay,” he said to her. “I'm fine.”
“Yep, sure,” Caroline said, and she stayed right where she was.
She obviously didn't believe him about being fine.
He forced himself to sit up a little, to not appear to be such a sad, sorry heap of a person. “See,” he said, his voice breathless and strained just from sitting up. “I'm fine.”
Again, Caroline replied, “yep,” and she didn't leave.
Jesse tried a different tactic then. “You're going to regret it if you don't go and kiss him at midnight.”
“I'll regret it,” she said with a definite sharpness, “if I go and kiss him while you die in the backseat of this car.”
“I'm not dying.”
“You don't know that. You don't know what's really going on inside you, and it's scary.”
Caroline's eyes went all glossy, she teared up big time.
How was he supposed to be indifferent to that?
Even though he didn't really have the energy to do so, he found the strength somewhere deep down to squeeze her hand. The last thing he meant to do was touch her, but he had to, she was crying, he couldn't just not touch her when she was crying. He had to reach out. That was as far as it would go though, he promised himself he would not make another play for her, not anymore, not with someone else's girl, he wouldn't be that guy, a guy like the one who cheated with his mom, who might be Nate's dad, who had hurt their dad, and could still someday hurt their family worse. So that was it, he released her hand. He was done being in love with her, he had to be.