Episode 712: Hot And Cold"You’re answering today," Paul said on the other end of the telephone line.
"Yeah, I guess I am." Lucy dropped onto the sofa, folding one leg underneath her. "It’s nice to hear your voice."
"Today it is. Tomorrow, who knows, right?" He sounded frustrated.
Lucy related. "You seem to bring out the hot and cold in me." They’d been in a particularly rough patch since Christmas. Lucy realized it was maybe a bit hypocritical of her to be mad at him for spying on their daughter’s holiday since Lucy had been there, spying, too.
She couldn’t help thinking that she’d had a right to spy, while he didn’t, he’d abandoned ship. Sometimes Lucy couldn’t help feeling as if Paul had no right to love and miss Hope as she did. Resentments like that kept cropping up, getting in the way of whatever it was they were building together.
"I wish we could go back to the way it first was," Lucy said. "But after Hope… That’s a lot for any relationship to rebound from, I mean, sometimes I hate you."
"But only sometimes."
"Isn’t sometimes more than enough? How can it ever really be right between us?"
"You could keep trying; let me keep trying to prove to you that I won’t mishandle things again. I hate myself for that, too. I want to show you that you can count on me. Lately you sound more and more like you think you should move on with your life, without me. Please, don’t do that. Just give me a shot, let me weather the hot and cold, I’m okay with that. I think we can get back to steady warmth."