Episode 560: BrokenBowie and Lila worked side by side in the kitchen. They occasionally brushed one another on their way to the refrigerator and crossed paths to the cupboards, their eyes colliding. A few times, they reached for the same thing and accidentally touched hands.
Neither of them really enjoyed making dinner though that dislike had no bearing on the aching silence between them. Thatís why they tended to tackle the chore together, laughing, talking, stealing kisses made time fly.
Lately they hadnít been doing any of those things. Not since the picnic that had started as one of the most beautiful days in his memory and had turned into one of the worst.
If anything, time had stopped, right along with Bowieís heart. Heíd shut it off where she was concerned, afraid of what would happen if he didnít, to go through that wringer again.
The last time heíd touched his wife with any kind of purpose had been to lift her off his lap, push her away from him before she could push him back into a place where he hated himself. Where he questioned who he was and whether it was enough.
He was enough, damn it. He was a good husband and father. He provided for them and he was there for them. And he wasnít going to let Lila make him feel like he wasnít, just because he hadnít made a million dollars and probably never would. She was wrong. She still didnít really get what mattered.
Not that he wasnít also afraid of where pushing her away would lead. He loved her. He just didnít know what else to do. And it was tearing him apart. Tearing them apart.
The silence between them swept around the table to their boys and what little appetite Bowie mustered each day entirely vanished when their oldest, Jesse, slammed his fork and knife down on his plate with a loud clang.
Jesse drew every one of their eyes, and sent an ice-cold shiver through Bowie, as he demanded to know, "are you getting divorced?"