Episode 342: Someday

His eyes slammed shut. The last thing Xavier wanted was to lose control, give in to the worst of the demons that surely still lurked inside him. Scare the woman he loved more than his own life.

Tender lips caressed his stubbled cheek. Forgiveness. Yet he still couldn’t bring himself to look at her. Too ashamed. Frightened, maybe.

"It’s okay. I yelled at Shelby yesterday. She almost tripped me up too when I was carrying porridge, she’s a little too affectionate with our ankles sometimes and needs to know it’s not good when we’re carrying something hot. It’s okay to be sharp with her over this. It’s not mean. It’s okay. She’s fine. She’s curled up in her bed, no big deal. You didn’t scare her."

"Maybe not, but I scared you. I’m so sorry." His nose buried in her sweet scented hair, kissing her head.

She pulled away. For a moment he feared it might be forever. Always his worst fear. But she captured his jaw in her silky hands, forcing him to look at her. "You didn’t scare me. You startled me the same way anyone shouting would. I knew you wouldn’t do anything to hurt Shelby or me. You are not your father. Look how faithful you’ve been with your meetings and with me."

Xavier smiled, ignoring the pangs of guilt he felt for not encouraging her to embrace her family the way she offered unconditional family support for him, but maybe if he worked hard, as he had been doing, as she’d said, he could be enough for her too. He gently scooped up the cat, cuddling her. "Sorry Shelby. I never would hurt you or Ava. I shouldn’t have yelled either. More than anything I want to be the man that’ll make you both proud." To earn a life with Avalon so different from the one he’d known. Marriage. Kids. Quiet happiness. Someday.

Episode 343: Long Way To Go