Episode 1205: Someday“You can have the last chocolate glaze, Tan.” Hero reached into the box their dad had surprised them with that morning. He placed the donut on Tansy’s plate.
She’d already downed an apple fritter but could not deny the thought of downing the chocolate glaze was both mouthwatering and comforting. Still, “that’s your favorite, Hero. Dad specifically grabbed those ones for you to start your new school year off on a sweet note. I can’t take this from you.”
Tansy started to push the plate across to her younger brother only for the nine year old to push it back in her direction.
“I can settle for the jelly one,” he said, dropping the powdered white confection on to his plate. “The chocolate ones are best, so you need to have one, too, it’ll help you feel better. You need it more than I needed a second one. I’m just back to my same old school today, you're going to college and that’s a big deal and you’re freaking out about it. Chocolate donuts are totally soothing for freakouts.”
“You’re going to be just fine, kiddo,” her dad offered, before hurrying off to the garage.
“It won’t be long before you find your groove and settle in, that’s how college was for me,” her mom said, reaching over and ruffling Tansy’s hair as if she were six.
The hair ruffling felt really nice as did the donut generosity, but neither soothed Tansy enough. She went over and over her lists, freaking out like her brother said, even though she couldn’t have been more prepared to registered for classes, armed with her first choices and every possible back up scenario she may need to consider.
There was no reason for her to feel this unnerved. Everything just felt so important. Too important. Hopefully her mom was right and Tansy would feel settled in sooner rather than later.
She could not spend the next few years this full of anxiety. So much of her school experience had already been this way, with a pit in her stomach thanks to the way other kids had treated her. This was different but the same sort of feeling inside her, absolute trepidation instead of the ease she’d hoped to feel at college.
“I’m supposed to have to drag you out of bed kicking and screaming that the summer’s over,” Lila said upon finding her youngest already up and in the kitchen waiting on toast to pop up from the toaster.
“I wanted to get an early start,” Nate said as he spread apricot jam on his toast. “Senior year is crucial. I need to do my best. Early bird gets the worm and all that.”
“Hey, I just realized, where are the new clothes I bought you?” Lila frowned at Nate’s standard slate to beige uniform of sweater vest, button-down and slacks. “I’m not the mom who forced lame clothes on her kid. I did my research. I get you the cool stuff.”
“I’m not the kid who does the cool stuff,” Nate said. “Someday you’re going to have to accept that, Man.”