Titans: Season 1
Dysfunction Junction

Guest Stars:

Jean Carol as Docent

Jonathan DePaz as Bellman

Charley Eleneke as Dive Instructor

Suzanne Lodge as Woman

Colin McClean as Suit

Robert Phelps as Minister

Our Rating: 7/10

Fan Rating: 7/10 (Average of all fan submitted ratings)

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Synopsis:

Love, honor, and cherish, such a dreadfully quaint notion. Why bother with all that when you can smooch with your step-son in front of your groom? Beverly Hills is always so cutting edge when it comes to these new fangled traditions.

Fresh off the alter Heather (Yasmine Bleeth) glowed as she tripped the light fantastic with oblivious hubby Richard (Perry King), secret father of her baby Chandler (Casper Van Dien), and drunken arch enemy Peter (John Barrowman). Such a busy girl, how does she find the time to connive and backstab?

Meantime, glistening like a weekend on the Costa Del Sol, Uncle Jack (Jack Wagner) breezed in with the handsome dry wit of Cary Grant. A very devil may care sort, prone to wistful glances at his former sister-in-law Gwen (Victoria Principal). He is also coincidentally quite a straight arrow like nephew Chandler, willing to sacrifice his own happiness by not rocking Richard’s boat.

Before a hasty exit, Jack introduced David (Ingo Rademacher) a genius with nightlife and owner of an iron man Aussie physique. He spells big trouble between the Williams’ sisters, really, who could resist when every scene does its best to show off the bluest eyes in the world? Jenny (Elizabeth Bogush) was instantly smitten and headed for heartbreak, but since she has that fab glittery rose T-shirt don’t feel too bad for her. On the other hand Laurie (Josie Davis) threw up her defenses the minute David suggested silver spoons, they sure seem follicly destined for one another.

Hard to say if David has a larger agenda on his Palm Pilot, hopefully he manages to not have the royal screw-up touch that Peter possesses. Heather’s new .com prompted the black sheep to attempt a coup, recruiting mom who slyly recruited Samantha. All were shot down (except a little kiss for Sam) by Chandler’s moral devotion to Dad. You can almost see the golden aura radiating off of that guy’s taut body.

As for the new step-witch executive, Heather was ‘roll your eyes’ thrilled with her honeymoon in familiar Hawaii. She was even saucy with Richard during morning sickness, a no-no in the trophy wife handbook. No need for saltines when she had From Here To Eternity memories of Chandler to sate her mood. Is it a sign of a rocky marriage when you call your ex-lover/ baby’s father/ step-son during half-time with your husband?