Episode 753: You And Me"Did we have plans?" Xavier asked her, though he didnít shut the door on her, he let her in to his apartment, which had to be a sign that their relationship had made some strides forward, it wasnít all in her imagination.
"We didnít have a plan," Talia said, staying right where she was rather than seek out a seat. She doubted there would be any actual making herself comfortable until she just put it all out there and finally knew for sure one way or the other.
"I wanted to talk about tomorrow." How she hoped the future would be better, that they would be better.
"Tomorrow?" Xavier asked.
"Yeah, you know, Valentineís day."
"It took a moment for it to visibly sink in with him. "Oh," he said.
Talia waited another moment for him to maybe, possibly suggest that they get together for dinner or something, but of course, he didnít.
"Yeah," Talia said, "so, I was thinking about tomorrow, and how last Valentineís you gave me this." She pulled the necklace out from the front of her sweater."
Xavier winced slightly, which probably was not a good sign, but Talia had decided to this, she was determined to go through with it.
"I didnít-" Xavier began and Talia cut him off.
"I know. I know you didnít actually buy this for me," she said. "Itís not me, at all. I mean, my book club almost never reads the actual book, and you must have chosen a book charm because it really meant something to whoever youíd intended to give this to, but, for whatever reason, you didnít give this necklace to her. You gave it to me, and it means something to me, you, mean something to me, and I just wanted to say it, I wanted this Valentineís day to be-"
"Valentineís puts people in a weird panicky headspace," Xavier said. He looked mighty panicky himself, like he possibly sensed what she was about to say and didnít want to hear it.
"Iím not panicky or in a weird headspace. Iím perfectly clear." And so she was just going to say it, even though it certainly seemed like he would be in no way receptive. Sometimes, in order to have any sort of inner peace you just have to say things even if it blows your outer life to shreds. "I like you. I wasnít sure I did like you at first. You were kind of a means to an end, just a way to beÖ less aloneÖ and it was blackmailÖ soÖ so I didnít actually expect to feel anything real, to maybe sort of fall in-"
Taliaís niece, and Xavierís favorite person, Tansy, chose that exact moment to burst in to the apartment with tears streaming down her sad little face. Talia knew that trying to finish what she had to say would be a waste of breath, Xavier only had eyes and ears for one, and it wasnít her.