Episode 433: Looking for ChristmasAfter putting the boys to bed, Bowie went to the kitchen, filling a small watering can to quench their Christmas tree’s thirst. Lila retreated to their bedroom, or rather, what had been their bedroom.
He hadn’t slept with her in days. Only entered their bedroom to change clothes. He refused to talk to her except when the boys were around. Even then he only spoke to her as a last resort.
Lila threw her face into her hands. How had this happened? How had her actions blown up on her? She’d had the best intentions this time. And still, the same result as always. Her life a mess. Bowie heartbroken over something she’d done.
On a deep breath, she smudged out her tears and pulled the shopping bags from the top shelf of the closet. She didn’t even know what half of the gifts were. They’d shopped separately for the boys. Separate gifts. Separate beds. How long before they led entirely separate lives?
With determined steps, Lila carried the bags, as well as the wrapping supplies into the living room. Bowie sat in the armchair, pretending he didn’t see her. She set the bags on the coffee table and knelt on the carpet, crushed right up against his leg so he’d be damn sure to feel her there. She stroked his shin. "Wrap the gifts with me, Bowie. Please. I was just trying to make things better for us."
She waited with her back to him. His stillness, his silence, torture. "You went to another man for help with our future. A man you cheated with before. That’s not making things better Lila. It just makes me feel like I’ll never be enough for you. Like what’s the point in trying?"
"Because you love me," she said, without any sort of conviction, any sort of hope.
"Yeah," he said, sliding down onto the floor beside her. "Curse that it is, I do." He managed a small smile. "And it is Christmas. Let’s see what we bought, huh? Maybe tomorrow we could go pick out something extra for them. Together."