Episode 1089: I'll Be There For You

But in the time that had passed since their arrival at the hospital, Dr. Marques hadn’t uttered so much as a word to Ava let alone taken a seat beside her.

First Katherine had attempted to argue her way into taking over Sebastian’s case which the hospital refused to allow her to do as his parent. Katherine then ranted on the phone to her husband, seemingly more consumed with being medically sidelined than with Sebastian’s condition, though obviously it was just her way of coping.

Ava thought she should make some calls too. You never knew with Sebastian’s parents whether they were on speaking terms with their daughters. And Ava realized she should probably call someone for her own support as well, maybe Bowie or her dad.

But she wasn’t Dr. Marques. She couldn’t seem to function beyond sitting there wringing her hands and watching Dr. Marques, hoping Katherine would succeed in her quest to provide Sebastian’s care since really who would fight harder for him?

It seemed increasingly unlikely though that Dr. Marques would be permitted to take charge when a hospital bigwig and friend of Katherine’s who Ava remembered from her time as Katherine’s social assistant appeared and ushered Katherine away to talk over coffee.

And that was how Ava ended up alone with only her racing thoughts, feeling like it was her fault he’d been hit by that car, her fault that he’d been too upset to pay any mind to the traffic.

She should have made more of an effort sooner to work through their stuff together rather than stewing and questioning so much in her own head and not really talking to him at all. At the very least she should have made certain that he understood that she was still very much in love with him.

After learning that Sebastian had sought out Xavier for help, that Sebastian had been that desperate, Ava figured he probably did think the worst of her attitude towards him lately, he must have seen her distance as growing indifference when it was so much more complicated than that. She should have done a better job of explaining what was going on inside of her and that she needed space to think, instead his insecurities had filled in the blanks and seeing her with Xavier had exasperated the conclusions he’d drawn.

She should have outright reassured him but that had seemed too difficult at a time when she’d needed reassurance that she hadn’t married someone who would disregard her feelings and disregard how his actions might affect others.

She’d thought he’d grown only to be confronted by the possibility that he hadn’t actually changed at all, that he’d connive and manipulate to get what he wanted and feel fine about it just like his parents did.

Ava didn’t want to spend her life with someone like that or raise impressionable children with someone like that, but she didn’t want their marriage to end either and how do you express that you’re at that kind of impossible crossroads without adding to the problem?

She’d opted to take her time. To try to work it out inside herself. But now. Now if he died believing she’d chosen Xander…

“Sweetheart, hey, it’s going to be okay.”

Ava hadn’t even seen her father right in front of her until he gently tugged her upright and enveloped her in a hug. She hadn’t realized how hard the tears were falling until he dabbed at her cheeks with a pocket square.

“Xavier called and told me what happened,” her dad said. “I’m so sorry, I know you must be terrified but I’m here, I’ll be right here with you through all of it. And, please, don’t blame yourself.”

Episode 1090: Water Runs Dry