1058: Freedom“Sorry I’m late,” Xavier apologized, giving them each a hug before pulling up a seat at the kitchen table. “There was a spill at the garage, it had to be cleaned up. I would have been here sooner if I could have Tans. I know you wanted to talk.”
“It’s okay, I haven’t finished what I need to say.” Tansy sighed, still feeling that weight on her. Maybe the weight would be gone soon depending on if they even had advice for her. She’d decided to share this with the two of them since she wasn’t sure if any one person would have a perfect answer for her. She didn’t know if anyone would have answers for her. She didn’t know if there were answers. It really was complicated.
While Tansy mulled things over in her head, Lucy caught Xavier up on where they’d gotten to in their conversation.
“So this is good, it’s progress, right?” Xavier asked.
After going so long only thinking not actually saying things out loud, Tansy felt uncomfortable and unsure, but at the same time, she knew if she didn’t finally talk, life wasn’t ever going to get better, she’d never be able to live freely. She knew that.
She knew she had to brave the difficulty of talking about her private feelings.
“It’s complicated,” she said again. “And not because I want to date Theresa. I don’t. I think I’d like to be friends with her though. I mean, I have mom and dad, Hero, and you guys, plus Molly, that’s a lot more people than anyone who comes into the shelter has so maybe in a way, it’s greedy or unnecessary but I don’t have anyone at school, I’m totally alone there except for my phone. I just, for a couple months now, Theresa has tried to be my friend. More and more I’m thinking how nice it would be to have someone there that I could talk to in class or the hallways and know that someone’s waiting for me at lunch. The more I think about it, the more it sounds like something I really want.”
“So Enid’s the complication?” Xavier asked.
“You feel like it would be too awkward and difficult to be friends with someone who Enid might be dating,” Lucy suggested.
“That part of it. It’s not easy hearing about the fun they have together. But I mean, I don’t know for sure that they’re anything other than friends so maybe that’s not even an issue. But even if they are only friends there’s still something else. Something that makes how I feel about Enid even more complicated.”