1057: ComplicatedďI havenít been talking to you as much at lunch the last couple weeks,Ē Tansy began. She wiped her hands on her pant legs feeling sweat rise on her palms.
ďIs that a good or a bad thing?Ē Lucy asked. ďIf itís because youíre worried about bothering me, donít be, I promise, hearing from you is not a bother, I want to know how youíre doing. But if youíve found some other way to occupy your time at lunch, something positive, something that makes you feel less alone, well, thatís really, really good and if thatís why you havenít been calling, then Iím happy about it if youíre happy about it.Ē
ďIt does make me feel less alone. She makes me feel less alone. But Iím not so sure itís positive.Ē
ďI know everyone around has said this many times the last couple years, but Iím going to keep saying it, hoping you hear me. Just because certain neanderthal classmates havenít evolved enough to realize thereís nothing wrong with-Ē
ďI know. I agree with you, they are neanderthals,Ē Tansy said. ďBut even when you know people are wrong it still hurts to be made fun of and set apart from everybody else. I didnít want to be different, I wanted to ignore it because being different makes you a target, not because I thought it was bad. Iíve never thought it was bad. Iíd never think Enid was bad for anything. Itís the teasing part of school, the not being allowed to go about my day without people being jerks that bothers me. So Iíve kept my head down and tried not to be seen, to just completely keep to myself and focus on studying and work and volunteering. But I donít think I want to be that way anymore, itís exhausting and lonely. I want to stop caring so much about what other people say and I guess just live my life.Ē
Lucy grinned. ďI like the sound of that.Ē
ďBut itís still super complicated,Ē Tansy said. ďEven if I stop caring what other people think or say, thereís still how I think and feel and itís, I think itís complicated. Iíve thought a lot about it.Ē She shook her head. ďI know itís complicated.Ē
Lucy took a moment before replying. ďStop me if Iím overstepping or if you need to take it slow talking about these things. You donít have to answer, but is this complication about you liking the girl who might be dating Enid?Ē