Odd couple really just a couple of stereotypes

You know you've arrived in society when your group can be singled out for prime-time abuse. The mark of assimilation nowadays is when tarnished stereotypes, be they based on ethnicity or sex, turn golden.

But the rules of stereotyping are more complicated than in the era of straightforward insult humor. Television writers must know who's fair game and who isn't, display evenhandedness in doling out jokes, and calibrate the moment when an old slur can be perceived as a new, backhanded compliment.

CBS tackles this turf in dated fashion with "Some of My Best Friends," a comedy debuting tonight at 8, and "Big Apple," a cop drama from "NYPD Blue" co-creator David Milch that arrives tomorrow at 10 p.m.

"Some of My Best Friends" is based on the movie "Kiss Me, Guido." The TV title reveals the heavy-handedness of this sitcom about a straight Italian guy from da Bronx who unwittingly moves in with a gay, Village-dwelling writer.

You see, Frankie Zito (Danny Nucci) thought "GWM" meant "Guy with money" when he answered the roommate ad placed by Warren Fairbanks (Jason Bateman). Seriously. And if you're roaring at that one, then CBS may have found its target audience, which apparently dwells in some Catskills Valhalla where it is always 1964.

Jokes about movie musicals, prissiness, overprotective Italian parents, mob connections - at first, I thought "Some of My Best Friends" was trying to be subversive by hauling out the hoariest and crudest clichés of gay and Italian life to show how dumb they are. Turns out that's the best it can do.

Viewers may wonder what the point is. After all, the plot demands Frankie and Warren get along so the series can continue. Even their respective best friends, the flamer and the macho hetero, are polite by the end of the first episode.

No doubt the creators would say the point is to depict two nice guys from different backgrounds learning to overcome prejudices.

Nonsense. What "Some of My Best Friends" really says is, congratulations, gay people! You've managed to join the land of the insultable without ever having left it. Have some meatballs on CBS.

Another approach to the reworking of ethnic stereotypes can be found in David Milch's creation, "Big Apple."

Here, the old image of the Irish as cops and cons has been updated to a triangle in which the FBI, the NYPD and the bar-owner informant are Irish. The criminals are Russians, which accurately pegs their current TV status.

Milch brings his stylized sense of language and atmosphere to "Big Apple." Idiosyncratic dialogue ("I know how I know," "Back in the day," etc.) peppers the script in raspy baritones suggesting everyone connected with crime smokes unfiltered Camels.

The cast is impressive and leads with a surprise: Ed O'Neill, former half of "Married ... with Children," doing a solid dramatic turn as NYPD Detective Mike Mooney. Standout co-stars include Titus Welliver as FBI agent Jimmy Flynn and the durable Michael Madsen as bar owner Terry Maddock.

The problem is that this territory is too familiar. Even with the added dynamic tension of the FBI and NYPD as rivals, you have to wonder how many more police series the island of Manhattan - and viewers - can sustain.

"Big Apple" will try to build on Thursday night steam generated by "Survivor II" at 8 and "C.S.I." at 9. My guess is it will peel off viewers bored by "ER," but not score a big hit. That still may be enough to make CBS happy.